August 2011
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“Everybody has a home team: It’s the people you call when you get a flat tire or...”
– Bittersweet, Shauna Niequist (via word-collector)
Jess and Nancy
(via onnoddingterms)
<3
““A while back, if I remember right, my life was one long party where all...”
– From A Season In Hell by Arthur Rimbaud
Thinking about making a passworded blog for my...
because I never post it anymore, and I miss that.
But would any of y’all follow it?
Things That Are Unfair about My Roommate
1) He’s wicked smart - and not in a “look, I went to college for 3 semesters, let me regurgitate everything my philosophy 101 professor taught us at you and pretend I’m really fucking insightful because the only original thoughts I’ve ever had were about ways to get your panties off” kind of way. I mean he has actual thoughts. I had forgotten those people exist.
2)...
Why is it, that guys who are complete pricks, seem...
It’s evolutionary. Alpha Males are attractive because it’s difficult to tell the difference between strength and mere aggression.
Also, assholes are interesting. Most of the self-designated “nice guys” I know are boring as sin.
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“So I was taking a leak and in the men’s bathroom they have a Natty Ice...”
– The Best Compliment I’ve Ever Gotten.
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“At the very moment when we become, for the first time, both introspective and...”
– Maestra from Tom Robbin’s Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates
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“And then I felt sad because I realised that once people are broken in certain...”
– Douglas Coupland (via saddest-summer)
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Things That Make Me Hate Everyone #362
Me: Do you want a drink?
Stupid Kid I Work With Named Tim: Yeah. Can you get me one of those things you guys make with the lemonade mixed with... something...
Me: Iced Tea?
Tim: Yeah, one of those Bob Marley things.
Me: ... I really don't think Bob Marley would enjoy being confused with Arnold Palmer, the whitest yuppie golfer to ever live.
Tim: Was Bob Marley not a golfer?
This sandwich is the greatest thing of all things
Possibly because I’m currently getting paid to eat it.
At the bar Saturday I saw some guy wearing an Atlas Shrugged T-shirt.
I spent the rest of the night attempting to get my friends drunk enough that they would go beat him up for me.
None of them understood my hatred. In fact, one of them asked me, “What kind of music does Atlas Shrugged even play?”
I really just hate all people sometimes.
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One of my biggest pet peeves
When people text me and complain about being bored. I cannot help you. Even were I so inclined.
You know books exist, right?
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“I love you,” Buttercup said. “I know this must come as something of a surprise...”
– Buttercup; The Princess Bride by William Golding (via jgaskisanerd)
Most of the time, I am fairly certain Buttercup is an idiot.
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So do you ever suddenly remember something you wrote a couple months ago, and you think to yourself, “You know, I really enjoyed writing that!” And then you look it up again and you’re very excited to maybe be able to fashion this writing into a workable piece.
And then you read it.
And then you’re just… Oh… Oh dear God…
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So as it turns out
To open the store on Saturdays, I have three hours on the schedule. It takes me about… an hour and a half.
And then, throughout the day, I have about… say… 45 minutes of actual work, total.
And then once we close, I’m scheduled for an hour to get everything clean. That usually gets done in about… 20 minutes.
Getting paid to do nothing = the best thing. Of all...
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Jon: Do you think he'll get attached to you?
Me: I think if he did, he wouldn't ever tell me. Which is fine with me.
Jon: What if YOU get attached to HIM?
Me: Fuck if I know.
Jon: ... ARE you attached to him?
Me: I dunno. I mean. He's my friend. I like him, and I like hanging out with him, and I care enough about him to like... not want him to die or something.
Jon: Yeah, but in Nancy speak, that's like you're about to propose.
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“You are a vaccuum of love. You take men and suck out their souls and make them...”
– My friend Zach
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“I loved them all the way one loves at any age—if it’s real at all—obsessively,...”
– — May Sarton (via crmerry)
